by Bare Lin
I can remember playing some pretend games with my friends when an ordinary thing like a hollow tree was a ship that was going out to war and, less dramatically, pretending that an ordinary pair of sunglasses had the magic power that could see through clothes.
Of course those silly games I use to play were a lot of fun when me or one of my friends would put on those pretend magic glasses around my sister or one of her friends, because it would cause them to instantly start covering themselves as if those glasses were for real. I still can not forget how much fun that was. Well, I am a lot older now and those days of playing silly pretend games are long past. And of course none of that silly stuff could every happen in the real world.
My story started this morning when I was getting ready for work like I do every weekday. I would relieve myself and then walk naked to the kitchen and turn on the TV to one of the morning news channels. I would then start fixing myself a bowl of cereal or something else simple and sit down and eat.
This morning everything seemed normal until I glanced back at the TV. I had been only listening to it until that point since I turned it on. I almost dropped my cereal bowl on the floor when I noticed that the anchorwoman appeared to be sitting there topless and was acting as if nothing was out of the ordinary. I thought at first that I must be dreaming and quickly set my bowl down on the nearest surface and walked to the set and turned it around to see if somehow one of my friends managed to switch the wires to some device under the counter or something.
Then, after not finding any recording device, I turned the screen around and started watching some stupid computer generated cartoons and waiting for it to get over with. Then another commercial that I have seen many times over the past couple weeks came on and I was in for a shock, everyone was butt-ass naked.
I couldn't believe what I was watching and started thinking that I must have stepped into some twilight zone or something. Then after another ad where everyone was as naked as in the previous one, I finally picked up the remote after grabbing my bowl. Maybe a minute or two later the news came back on and not only was that news reporter naked, but there was a middle aged male standing in front of the weather map showing the world all of his glory.
I am not sure how long it took me to think of it but I managed to change to channel only to find that just about everywhere I turn everyone was naked. I mean everyone. I was nothing less then quite a little overwhelmed by what I was seeing on the tube. Then for whatever reason I pushed the remote and turned the set off and just finished eating the stuff in the bowl before I got myself into the shower and got ready for work.
A little about me, I live by myself since my wife suddenly passed away last year. For the most part I spend the majority of my time at home naked unless I have company and I know my nakedness would offend my guest. So, I didn't really take in the full impact of what I was seeing until I walked into the bathroom and saw in the mirror that my towel was missing.
Now thinking that I must have forgotten to replace it with a new towel, I casually walked to the linen closet to grab another towel only to find that every one of my sheets and towels that I had in there were missing. By then I started thinking about some of my friends that have somehow forgotten to grow up and still play silly jokes every so often.
First the TV and now my linen closet, I was starting to get a little frustrated as I turned and started walking back to the bathroom hoping that somehow someone would be nice and put my towel back before I finished up in there. I do not know how long it was, maybe three to five minutes later dripping wet I was standing there staring at a bare towel bar trying to magically make a towel appear, before I walked still dripping wet down the hallway to my bedroom saying, "Ok guys, you have me".
Feeling totally had, I walked into the bedroom only to find the bed that I had slept in last night was reduced to nothing but wire springs and strips of wood forming the shape of the bed. And that isn't the worst part about this morning; every single piece of my clothing was missing from the closet and my dresser. The only thing that was left was the hangers. The only clothing items I could find were my leather shoes and the bottom part of what appears to be my tennis shoes.
For the most part I was still dripping wet when I noticed what time it was and I realized that if I was going to beat the morning traffic I would have to leave the house now, but with the unfortunate situation I was in at that moment. I knew there wasn't any way I was going to walk out of this house naked. Not to mention working this way. I would almost certainly be arrested for public indecency or something like that.
Now standing there next to what was left of my bed, I started dialing one of my college buddies that lives a few blocks from me and for the past six months has been working at home. I just was hoping that he was still in the neighborhood and maybe he could help me out of this twisted twilight zone I am in right now. Fortunately, he was home and his wife didn't answer the phone. I really wasn't quite prepared to talk to anyone else. Now come to think about it, I wasn't quite ready to talk to him and tell him what dilemma I was in right now. So, I just asked him if he could come over as soon as he could and told him that I didn't quite feel comfortable talking about it on the phone.
Being a little more relaxed, I called my office and told them that I will be a little late this morning. My secretary picked up the line and I asked her if she could cover my phone calls until I get in. Then as if it was planned, the doorbell started going off as soon as I hung up the phone. The only thing that I wanted to see behind that door was my friend Dave and not some door-to-door salesman. When I looked out the peep hole and saw him standing there, I carefully started to open the front door trying not to flash the neighborhood.
The first thing Dave said to me was, "I know you like to be naked, but could you have at least worn a robe or something..."
The only thing I could get out was, "Dave, all of my clothes are gone. And are you aware that you are standing in my doorway naked?"
I didn't know what to think after seeing the strange expression on his face. I do know that this morning will be one I will not forget for a long, long time, if ever.
His expression for those few minutes we were standing there was quite bizarre to say the least. When he said, "Keith, are you high on some kind of drug I need to know about?"
"No, this morning started out like any other until I turned on the television and noticed that everyone was as naked as you are right..."
Then before I could finish he said, "I do not know what you are seeing, but I am currently wearing one of my old t-shirts with some shorts. Let's see if I can help."
As he was entering and I turned around, I sure my face was as white as a ghost. All around me was nothing but bare frame and even the carpet was gone except for the padding. I do not know which one I noticed first, him asking me what is wrong or that regardless of the fact that I couldn't see the carpet in the room, I most certainly could feel it.
"Dave, please help! Everything around me that is made of any kind of fabric or cloth I can not see. I can feel the carpet in this room, but for whatever reason I cannot see it right now."
After about a minute or two with him staring at me while I just stood there he walked right up to me and looked into my eyes. I didn't quite know what he was thinking until he said, "When was the last time you changed your contacts?"
The sad part about what he said is I really do not know when the last time I changed then was. Since I hate the idea of sticking my dirty figures into my eyes, I replied, "A month or more, I don't remember."
"Shit, two months!" "You shouldn't wear them any more then a week the most. Let's wash your hands and get those things out before they cause you to see through more then my clothes."
I am not sure how many attempts I made before I had my left one out. But I know it was burning like crazy and I almost backed out of taking the right one out, and would have if he hadn't pushed me back to the sink. That one took a little bit longer to take out as I was paying more attention to the pain in the other eye. Then after several tries it was out and now both of my eyes where burning and watering like crazy.
I was in pain and then he handed me what felt like one of my wash clothes. I just held it on my eyes until they stopped watering which seemed like forever. After I finely open my eyes again, my vision was still blurry, but for the first time this morning I could see he was wearing clothes. My eyes where still sore at that moment, but at least I could see a little bit of the living room carpet from where I was standing.
I could see him, very blurrily, walk back into the room saying, "Your desk is a mess, but I found these glasses."
After slipping them on, I could see that he was fully dressed. Now very relieved to finally be out of that strange twilight zone, I looked at him and reached down into the sink and pulled out both of those lenses and started examining them more closely, with him looking over my shoulder. I never did make it to work that day, since I ended up spending most of the day at the eye doctor's office treating my small eye infection.
Oh, one more thing before I go. I do have to tell you the only thing I miss after the whole ordeal this morning was was over was seeing that anchorwoman sitting there all so calmly reading the daily news fully topless.