Chicago Daily News, Sports Editorial Section, April 1, by Ned Dean
Chicago Daily News, Sports Editorial Section, April 21, by Ned Dean
Board Room, Owners of WWSL, Chicago
Theodore Quigley slammed the sports section down on the table and glared at the other owners around the table as he challenges them. “This Dean guy is absolutely right. If we can’t get at least 5000 to each game, we won’t even finish the season. God damn it, we have to get more fans to the games.”
Those around the table fumed, but not in disagreement. Quigley was right. The women were playing very good soccer and the advertising should have drawn the fans. Fans just did not want to see so any 1-0 scores or scoreless ties. With four fifteen minute periods and allow only one sudden death overtime period, defense ruled the games and made them boring to the average American sports fan.
Vernon Edmont, CPA/MBA/WWSL accountant, sat quietly in the corner. He was dressed in his crisp three-piece suit that did little to hide his five foot four beanpole thin body. With his thick wire-rimmed glasses and soft-spoken manner, he looked anything but intimidating. He had already informed the owners of the financial woes that beset their league. He waited for this moment to spring is plan on them. He cleared his throat and spoke.
“Gentlemen, I have a proposal for some rules changes that just might improve our financial position.” He passed copies of his one page proposal to the men and gave them a few moments in silence to read it. After thirty seconds of silence one of the owners asked, “Can we do this?”
Edmont smiled and answered. “I’ve had Legal check the contracts. We have absolute rights to specify the team uniforms. While this is probably not what anybody had in mind when it was written, we should be able to do it.”
The Dallas owner chimed in. “Won’t the public complain? There will be an outrage.”
“We’ve had very few minors show up at the games. We will simply prohibit minors. Also, I’ve asked around discreetly and two of the cable premium networks have offered a million a week to re-broadcast three games a week after 11 PM. With that added income alone we are assured to break even with our current attendance figures.”
Edmont sat back and watched the smiles form on their faces as the proposal sank into their little brains. He had intentionally made sure that uniform clause was worded the way it was. He would get his revenge for the way all the cute hardbody girls had turned their noses up at him over the years.
The owner of the New York Knickers asked, “How soon can we do this?”
They had taken the bait. Edmont smiled and answered, “We can be ready on April 28.”
The Chicago Belles assembled in their locker room before the game on the 28th. They found their lockers padlocked. Shouting came from the coach’s office, but the players could not quite make out the words. Finally, a little guy in a business suit stepped from the coach’s office and stared at the still clothed players. A smirked appeared on his face before he walked from the locker room. Coach Anne Riley appeared in the coach’s room door, red-faced and looking beaten.
“Okay, girls I regret to inform you of a few changes and, according to the league representative, we have no choice but to comply or spend the next several years tied up in court.
With seconds remaining in the quarter an opposing player was dribbling unopposed directly at Bridget as she waited. Bridget watched her fake first to her left then her right. Ignoring the fake moves Bridget maintained her focus on the opponent. Finally, she kicked the ball at the right side of the goal. Bridget lunged and felt the ball glance off her fingertips as the buzzer went off to end the quarter. The ball struck the goal post and bounced outside the net. The score was tied, 0-0.
Bridget struggled to keep her breasts in her bra. She was luckier than her teammates whose constant running caused their breasts to bounce free quite often. As long as she kept her arms across her chest and stood still, her breasts stayed in the bra. The Belles had scored a goal half way through the second quarter and now led 1-0. As the end of the first half approached, the NY Knickers were driven. Three Knickers passed the ball between them before making a break toward Bridget’s goal. Bridget dropped her arms from her chest and tried to stay focused. The crowd roar was picking up as the three out-raced the Belles and drove to the center of the field in front of the goal. The three players passed the ball back and forth quickly before the woman of the right kicked it. Bridget drove to her left and felt both her breasts pop free as the ball passed Bridget’s outstretched arm and slammed into the net. The score was tied with only seconds left in the quarter.
The Knickers did not celebrate yet. If the score remained tied, both teams would lose their short tight shorts. Bridget saw the Knickers take possession of the ball immediately and she once again faced three players charging to the goal. The Knickers saw that only three seconds remained and with their breasts bouncing free of their bras they rushed the kick. Bridget seemed to fly as her outstretched hands closed on the ball.
The buzzer sounded and the two teams raced for the locker rooms.
When the teams took the field after the brief halftime, they wore only there bra, panties and shoes. The crowd went crazy with a roar that would match that of an excited Superbowl audience.
Bridget found it now impossible to keep her breasts in her nearly useless bra. She was more concerned with the elastic band on her skimpy panties. Whenever she moved she needed at least one hand to pull up one side or the other. The other players had to run with one or both hands at their waists. Bridget watched in horror as one player and then another forgot to hold up their panties only to find that after a few steps their panties were around their thighs or knees. Bridget’s horror turned to fear as one of her teammates charged the Knickers goal only to have her panties trip her up as they dropped to and wrapped around her ankles. While Bridget’s teammate tried to pull her rebellious panties back up her legs, Bridget watched the Knickers drive back at the Belles goal. Bridget reluctantly ignored her own panties. Her vision narrowed down to just the Knickers with the ball. She ignored her teammates rushing to help her and saw the Knicker prepare to kick.
Bridget gambled. She dove to her right and was delighted to see the ball fly directly into her outreached hands as her body struck the grassy field. She smiled and held the ball triumphantly as the crowd cheered even louder than ever before. Her smile crumbled as she turned and saw a pair of red lacy panties lying in front of the goal. She looked down to see that her shaven pussy was exposed to the world. Before she could act a Knickers player scooped up Bridget’s panties and ran toward the Knickers end of the field. Bridget held the ball in front her crotch as she stood trembling.
Bridget heard her teammates yelling at her to kick the ball out. If Bridget continued to just hold the ball, a penalty could be accessed. Bridget trembled as she threw the ball into the air and kicked it as strong as she could. Her all but naked body seemed to tingle as if she felt the eyes of thousands on her taut flesh.
The rest of the quarter continued in a defensive frenzy. The score remained tied and no attempts were made on Bridget’s goal. That was good for the Belles because Bridget spent most of her time crouched next to a goal post in an unsuccessful attempt to cover her most private of areas. She realized she was stuck with no help available until the game ended. The new rules said that any clothing retrieved by and opponent was forfeited for the rest of the game. The other Belles realized Bridget was too embarrassed to defend their goal and feared they might soon suffer the same fate. With no offense the Belles were doomed, but they’d take the Knickers down to doom too.
With the start of the fourth quarter Bridget was completely naked save for her shoes and socks. Both teams had had to surrender their bras, which in Bridget's case was her only clothing above her ankles. Both team were desperate to avoid a sudden death overtime period that they would all play naked if the score remained unchanged. Most of the quarter seemed to drag by as a defensive battle seesawed back and forth in the middle of the field.
Bridget realized her team’s dilemma. If Bridget continued to cringe behind the goal post, she would doom her team to the double humiliation of a loss and being naked. She slowly concentrated and blocked all thoughts except the desire to win. With no players on either team watching her, but thousands in the stands enjoying her naked splendor, she stood up straight and raced down a sideline. Upon reaching mid-field she turned to the center and charged into the battle with her breasts giggling vigorously. Her naked legs became a blur as she intercepted the ball and drove toward the Knickers net. Players on both teams were caught unaware as Bridget’s all too naked and spectacular body moved as if propelled by a jet engine. A few moments passed before they reacted. That was all Bridget needed.
The Knicker’s goalie was unprepared as Bridget drove the soccer ball directly at her. Bridget executed a brilliant fake and kicked with all her might. The ball rocketed passed the goalie and into the net.
The crowd went wild at the daring of Bridget’s bold, unorthodox maneuver.
With the goal score Bridget’s concentration broke. She froze standing with her legs at least three feet apart. Her heavy breathing made her magnificient breasts the target of all eyes. Her sweat covered flesh glistened in the bright sunlight. She broke toward her goal while the pandemonium continued. Back at her goal she forced herself to assume her usual normal defensive stance in front of her own goal.
The Knickers spirit had gone out of them. They tried to mount an offensive, but the now invigorated Belles became an impenetrable defensive wall. When Bridget heard the buzzer at the end of the game her composure evaporated. She raced toward the tunnel that led to the locker rooms only to find it blocked by photographers and reporters. Cameras flashed on all sides of her as the male journalists and fans crowded around her. Bridget was the star of the game and they all wanted a piece of her in more ways than journalistically appropriate. Bridget felt herself being lifted was placed on the shoulders of a shirtless beefy male fan. Her breasts bounced against his scalp as he jogged back out to the field and a celebration exploded with the rest of the fans pouring onto the field.
As Bridget found herself on nude display to thousands, the now naked Knickers players fought their way to their locker room only to find it locked. They cowered with their hands over their crotches and breasts. Vernon Etmond stood beside the door and told the Knickers that as the losers they had to go out and sign autographs for thirty minutes. If they did not, they would be found in breach of contract.
A blond Knicker challenged back, “and what would that mean, mister?”
Etmond smiled and answered in his soft-spoken voice. “If you don’t, we will charge you with breach of contract and insist that you be arrested right now.”
“So what, asshole?”
Etmond could barely hold back a smile. “Then you will never play soccer, as a professional or amateur again. If that is the course you want to take, I will bid you adieu.”
“Okay. Just let us into the locker room.”
A smile burst on Etmond’s face. “I’m sorry, but if you are in breach of contract, I would be remiss if I allowed you back into a league facility. You will have to make other arrangements.”
The women stood in shock as Etmond turned and walked out of the stadium.
Chicago Daily News, Sports Editorial Section, May 12, by Ned Dean
The new Women’s World Soccer League has finally scored with the American fans. The new, rather unorthodox rule changes have resulted in sold out games at every event for the last two weeks. This is not the soccer seen elsewhere in the world, but it is already proving to be an entertaining sport.
Rumors of a threatened players’ strike and law suit were dashed today when in uncharacteristically swift move an appellate court in New York ruled yesterday that league contracts with the players were legal and thoroughly binding. The court ordered the players to appear and play at all regularly scheduled games.
Yes, this new adult oriented soccer league is here to stay for at least the three seasons specified in those same contracts. So, either stay away or come and enjoy, but it is going to be with us for a while.